Sunday, March 04, 2007
its been quite sum tym since i had tasted a marshmallow as swit as tis..yumyum.hehex all tis while i've been under alot of pressure,stress.i nv had a real laf since s many tings happen.its rili sort of sapping all my energy away.exams cuming bt im sort of unprepared.isit rili unprepared or m i jz tinking tt wae?styms whn tings go wrng,i start 2 tink negatively.perhaps most ppl wud sae tt its wrng 2 tink tt wae cus it wud oni leave u wid no hope.bt 4 me,tings wud seem beta.cus whn i tink negatively n instead tings get beta,i feel gd.it makes me feel lyk im achieving evrytink in d small wae.i do admit i feel lonely at tyms.searching 4 love tt i tink is missing in my lyf.i tink tt in tis lyf im alone.no 1 cares 4 me.no 1 loves me.it makes me feel tt im awaes left out.perhaps tts y i duno hw 2 appreciate tings around me.n whn evrytink fails in e end,my mindset is,its e end..i bear grudge,i hate,n nvr 4gif.i've been trapping myself in tis world 4 yrs to cum.since young,i felt v unfair.i ws e 1 alwaes bein bullied.i hate myself 4 bein s useless.i hate myself 4 nt being able 2 do anith.n e incident tt left me wid a huge wound 4eva.i ws betrayed by my own classmates.n given a public scolding n whacking by mum.i duno if they've any idea hw much hurt they've inflicted in me.bt i blif in retribution.it will go bac 2 them.since thn,i've trapped myself in tis world of darkness.i nv opened up.n i nv trusted mum again.i hated her 4 nt trustin me.nor did i trusted her wid my probs again.bt as i grow up,i realiz she ws e one hu rili cared 4 me.i regreted treating her s coldly.mayb i shud jz let tings go.mum didnt noe wt happened tt tym.she ws worried n angry.n i nv tried 2 let her understand my feelings.s whn 1 dae i ws argueing wid her,i shouted tt she din care 4 me,she din trust me o luved me b4.i told her tt i've nvr 4gave her since e p1 incident.it left her in tears.it ws e 1st tym i made mum cry.i felt s guilty.im sry.its my fault.i felt s selfish.its whn i started realizing tt i hurt ppl w/o knowing.n i tried.i tried tinkin of ppl's feelings.i cnt b selfish animore.mum myt haf 4gotten tis incident.bt it wil stay 4eva in my heart.and as i realize she is getting older each dae,i wana give her a hug n tell her hw much she mean 2 me n thks her 4 s much she'v done.i love u mum.=D
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1:32 PM
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our story;
sweet memories begin.. <33
17o05o07
words cud nvr tell hw deep i feel 4 u